After being in the accommodation and guesthouse business for many years, I can say here is nothing I can think of that compares to the pain and heartache of losing someone. It almost as if the person hearing the news dies herself because there are absolutely no words worthy of healing a grieving soul. Death is nobody’s friend. Our little Guesthouse is not excluded from the grips of immortality, despite the hundreds of guests we have supplied accommodation to over the years. Providing neat clean rooms in a lovely homely environment.
Losing a loved one is similar to you entering a dark path; one where you can’t see any light. It is pain I personally think only God can heal. I have nothing against therapy but I suppose we all have our preferences and I don’t think somebody telling you to “talk about it” cuts it.
Yes, communication is key, this is something that you learn after being involved in the hospitality business and running a successful guesthouse for many years.
However death strikes you in a way where you actually just wish you can’t utter a word at least not until you are ready. Talking does help and things do get better with time, but after talking, you the one who sleeps alone at night, you the one who reminisce over the memories you shared and you the one who needs to remove his or her clothes out of the closet.
With that being said, you actually need to be your own counselor. Words of encouragement can only do so much; it is up to you to at least try to move on. I recently lost a friend and I just completely shut down, I didn’t understand how someone who I had talked to just hours ago has passed on, it was confusing to comprehend that she’s no more.
I cried, I cried so much just thinking that I will never hear her voice again. I cried because she told me she loves me one last time and it broke me to pieces realizing that I will never hear her tell me she loves me ever again. I cried just thinking of the loss of such a young bright lady who was going to make waves and her time was cut short. I cried at the thought of her siblings who were so fond of her and inspired by her progress, I cried until I had no more tears.
I am better now not because I have moved on but because she wouldn’t have wanted me to mourn her death but rather to celebrate her time on earth. I have absolutely no doubt that she is at a better place and she has peacefully rested in tranquility. I am honored to have been her friend and I can live my life going forward with a strong belief that our friendship was real and appreciated by both parties.
Death is so sad. The reality is that you never fully get over the pain of losing someone; the burden just seems easier to carry with time. It becomes easier because I personally think time heals all wounds and wounds fade with time. It is wrong of us to beat ourselves up for our loved ones passing instead of commemorating their lives when they were still in our lives. The opportunity to spend time in a healing environment away from the trauma can be a blessing in disguise. It is well worth considering booking into a guesthouse or seeking alternative accommodation for a week or two.
The best gift you can ever give to someone who has passed on is to live your life. Live it to the best of your abilities, do the things she or he would be proud you doing and live it with the constant reminder that someone who meant so much to you would want you to be the best you can be so it is only right that you grant that gift back.
Life doesn’t stop because we are hurting, it doesn’t care that we are mourning, it only cares about those that are living it. It may never get better but you being granted another opportunity to see the sunshine means you are one step ahead from the heroes and heroines that have fallen so live! The